Awareness

Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, the priest of Midian; he led his flock beyond the wilderness, and came to Horeb, the mountain of God.  There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a flame of fire out of a bush; he looked, and the bush was blazing, yet it was not consumed.  Then Moses said, "I must turn aside and look at this great sight, and see why the bush is not burned up."       -- Ex. 3:1-3

This morning as I drove the kids to school, I was asking myself, "Who am I, Lord, that you favor me with such personal guidance?"  And then when I had a quiet moment, I read the lectionary for today and heard Moses asking the same question (Ex. 3:11).

Is it just a matter of awareness?  Are you, dear Lord, as present in every person's life as you are in mine, but not everyone is aware of you?  Does it take a burning bush that is not consumed?

How can I remain blind to your presence when you always speak to my specific concerns?  I am not making great leaps of reasoning from my concerns to the message I find in my readings.  The message addresses clearly my particular concerns of that particular moment:  when I refuse to "follow" the person whose understanding is so opposite to mine, I read a story in which Jesus becomes a follower of the one whose understanding is so opposite to his; when I wonder again how people with different interpretations of Scripture can get along, I read about St. Augustine's struggles with this very same question.  There are countless examples.  These are examples from the last two days.

I no longer doubt that this is how you speak to me.  How this is possible I do not know.  I think you must find each one of us by whatever means available to you.   I read a lot of books.  So you find me in a book.  Someone else finds your message in nature when they are out taking a walk.  Someone else finds clarity in meditation, or in a dream.  There are many ways for you to speak to us.

While waiting for my car to be fixed, I wandered over to the used bookstore.  Of course I found some good books.  Today, I found book after book of ordinary people whom you have called to further your truth in the world.  Ordinary people with flaws like me.  Even a book titled, "Moses: A Life," by Jonathan Kirsch, which promises to tell the story of the flawed human being within the great leader.  I am encouraged by all these examples of regular people becoming aware of your presence.  I know I am not unique, though you do make me feel special.  Your love fills me with joy and wonder.  My cup overflows.  Love always, Pam