You say, 'We know that God's judgment on those who do such things is in accordance with the truth.' Do you imagine, whoever you are, that when you judge those who do such things and yet do them yourself, you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience? Do you not realize that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? -- Romans 2:2-4
I know I should not judge other people, but I am finding myself struggling once again with feelings of anger toward one particular person. I think I have forgiven him, I think I've moved past the "terrible, awful" (as one friend puts it) events of the past, but then something happens to trigger all the negative feelings again. Sometimes I get so angry, I want to track him down and scream at him. But I know that would be wrong, and not at all helpful.
I have to keep telling myself that it's not my place to judge. As I wrote in yesterday's blog posting, there is good and bad in everyone. Like Peter, this person has great goodness, mixed in with the bad. Like me. I'm not perfect, either. No one is.
We want people to be all good, or all bad: to be perfectly good, or perfectly evil. That would make things so much easier. Then the people who are all good would be so easy to love; and the people who are all bad would be so easy to hate. But God made us imperfect, filled with both good and bad, mixed together. And he told us to love each other.
I have to learn to love people despite their flaws, their issues, their transgressions. Just as God loves me despite my flaws, issues, and transgressions. So that I do not become a hypocrite, I must not judge this person. I must leave that up to God.
It helps me to remember the good in this person. I learned a lot of good things from him, and I admired some parts of his character. I also understand his history, which helps me to understand why he is the way he is. But even if I did not know of any tangible good in a person who oppresses me, I would still have to trust that there is some goodness there, somewhere.
For God does not make junk.
Dear God, thank you for turning my heart back to you. Whenever I write out my thoughts, you always help me see the light. Love always, Pam